Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Losing all my Drive

First, a hair update. The dying went interestingly to say the least. I was reminded once again of how much of a cry baby I am, can't stand a little scorching burning sensation. While I was aiming for something along the lines of this, Circle K members seem to think I hit more of a Nazi kid from the movie "The Pacifier" -- I've actually never seen it, but Tiffany owns it and I'll have to borrow it sometime. (Googling a bit, this guy is likely who they're referring to.)

Ugh, so had another stressful day. Since waking up I pretty much hadn't had five minutes to just sit down, and literally finally found 3 minutes to eat a Banquet in the middle of the day (roommates judge how they want - when I only have 3 minutes for a meal, I'm really not all that picky.) Got to vote, picked up my check from home, and took a wrong turn on the high way and ended up taking 8 South to 77. (Two separate ways to get to Akron, but taking one to the other was a major waste of time.) Then had the meeting, then handled some MAC stuff. Only to realize 19 minutes too late that I had a Springboard quiz to do to night. Add to the fact I have a huge project due tomorrow, and 3+ major tests and an observation. Once again, I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in. But Thursday looks like I'll be able to rest finally. Only to have to go to MAC on Friday. Ugh :( See Below.

Song of the Day: "Going through the Motions" by Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This song kinda sums up how I've been feeling lately pretty perfectly. I don't feel like Andrew this semester, I'm just kinda running on autopilot, trying desperately to get all my assigned tasks (be it for Circle K, Class, finances, etc.) done. There's just so much stress from every direction, I don't have much choice but to silence my inner Andrew in favor of just being productive, hoping to get what I need to get done before its due and still coming up short on numerous points. I miss the Andrew that did Presidential trivia, took History classes, loved road trips and exploring abandoned buildings, the one who ate out all the time because of his magic credit cards, and bought ridiculous clothes. Not to mention the million things or more I just haven't been enthusiastic about lately. It's hard to be happy with so much stress on my mind, and I've seen the same problems eat away at mom's happiness for years.

In the song, Buffy's going through something similar. Oh -- and this is from the super duper incredibly awesome musical episode of Buffy btw. (Select excerpts...)

"I was always brave
And kind of righteous
Now I find I'm wavering..."

"...Will I stay this way forever,
sleepwalk through my life's endeavor
(Handsome young victim man:) How can I repay-
(Buffy:) -Whatever...."

Quote of the Day: More great quotes from Japanese class. Teacher:
"This morning... I saw a dog [on the news]... he did painting. His strokes better than yours."
(Our Japanese teacher continues to disapprove of our sweep-endings, etc.)

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