I'll be missin' you...
Grandpa died on Wednesday, May 12th at 8:00 pm at Akron General Hospital.
I don't handle loss well, anyone who has known me for any length of time probably understands that. I've gone through a lot of loss, this is a boy who lost his best friend-role model-hero at age 8, his home, pets, and vast majority of his possessions at age 16, and now the only male figure left in my life at 21.
I keep thinking of 8 year old me on the morning I asked mom if dad had died, or days later when I was the center of attention at his funeral balling my eyes out and all the visitors couldn't help but wince at how agonizing it was that this little kid no longer had a father.
These past few days I've been trying to find things to occupy myself so I don't have too much down time to think about all this, or worse write it in a blog -- and I've been pretty successful. I know my loving awesome super-fantastic girlfriend wishes she could be here to comfort me, but I would much rather her be off enjoying China and Korea and bringing me back a million out of this world stories and pictures.
But I've done stuff, blog worthy I know and I hope I get to them soon. Got to hang out with Jen for her birthday, Danielle and Amanda in Garfield, and get some cleaning done back home. Tomorrow is the funeral, I've got my new clothes ready, and now I'm off to Census -- then dinner with Van der Kamp before he heads back to Korea.
Song of the Day: "Ave Maria" by Beyonce. I know its just generically church-y and not situation-related, but for some reason that makes me feel better a little. If it was a Taylor-Swift-match-the-situation-perfectly song, that would probably be annoying.
I don't handle loss well, anyone who has known me for any length of time probably understands that. I've gone through a lot of loss, this is a boy who lost his best friend-role model-hero at age 8, his home, pets, and vast majority of his possessions at age 16, and now the only male figure left in my life at 21.
I keep thinking of 8 year old me on the morning I asked mom if dad had died, or days later when I was the center of attention at his funeral balling my eyes out and all the visitors couldn't help but wince at how agonizing it was that this little kid no longer had a father.
These past few days I've been trying to find things to occupy myself so I don't have too much down time to think about all this, or worse write it in a blog -- and I've been pretty successful. I know my loving awesome super-fantastic girlfriend wishes she could be here to comfort me, but I would much rather her be off enjoying China and Korea and bringing me back a million out of this world stories and pictures.
But I've done stuff, blog worthy I know and I hope I get to them soon. Got to hang out with Jen for her birthday, Danielle and Amanda in Garfield, and get some cleaning done back home. Tomorrow is the funeral, I've got my new clothes ready, and now I'm off to Census -- then dinner with Van der Kamp before he heads back to Korea.
Song of the Day: "Ave Maria" by Beyonce. I know its just generically church-y and not situation-related, but for some reason that makes me feel better a little. If it was a Taylor-Swift-match-the-situation-perfectly song, that would probably be annoying.
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